Have you been dodging an important conversation? The kind of conversation that may be uncomfortable, in a situation that you wish would just take care of itself? Are you dancing around a subject, being less direct, less candid than you really should be because you fear conflict or don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings? Preparing for candid conversations can be hard.
You know what’s going to happen, right? As a result of not being candid, we can let situations like this stew and brew until they erupt and end up causing more damage than was necessary. It’s only a matter of time before one of you gets so frustrated by what’s unspoken that you will say things that shouldn’t be said instead of having a candid conversation about what needs to be discussed.
But you’d rather risk handling a ticking time bomb than put in the time and effort and emotional risk of having THAT conversation. I know. I’ve felt the same way at times. You’ll have to weigh the stakes of speaking up versus letting this one fester. Just don’t wimp out if the stakes of doing so are greater than those few moments of discomfort required to initiate the conversation.
If you decide to go for it, to have a candid conversation, here are some tips that may make it more productive. (I didn’t say these would make it any easier, but that is a possibility. … for now, let’s focus on at least getting somewhere with the conversation.)
First, know what it means to be candid. It’s doesn’t mean you have the green light to be unkind or to go on the attack. In fact, to be effective at being candid, you have to put some real thought and objectivity into your preparation. Candor means “the state or quality of being frank, open, and sincere in speech or expression; free from reservation, disguise, or subterfuge; straightforward.” The synonyms for candor are: matter-of-fact, frank, flat-out, plainspoken, straightforward, and direct. It’s all about being truthful in a way that someone else can find constructive support in what you say to them.
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January 2023 – THRIVE Physically
February 2023 – Faith and Finance – (Getting Help with Personal Finance and Small Business) Moderator Lynn Senegal-Sanders. Panelists – Dr. Vaughan Gay – Ronnie Battle – Wayne Ellison
March 2023 – CODE RED: Conflict Resolution – Let’s Get to the Roots! / Gwinnett County Parents, Students, and Faculty
May 2023 – From Chaos to Peace – Addressing Violence in our Community
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For more information about our Counseling Department please email counseling@newmerciescc.org.
